


Harold Finch Wonders Why

by caorida19741130



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Gen, POI 320
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-21
Updated: 2014-04-21
Packaged: 2018-01-20 06:09:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1499579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caorida19741130/pseuds/caorida19741130
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finch POV, set at the end of 320. Finch's thought before he left the team.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Harold Finch Wonders Why

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing but the mistakes. Setting during 320.

Harold Finch never thought he was the one who surfers most. No, there are plenty of others who had been though far worse. He lost a friend, a lover, but he had 4 years of happiness, like he told John, he was lucky. And no, he's not fooling himself, instead, he does believe in that way. 

He also suffered, from the guilt and regret. He always knew that Nathan was a greater person than him. That's why Nathan would risk his life to save others while he used lame excuses as 'the bigger picture' to blind himself. When he saw Nathan's cold body lying there covered with blood, he knew it's not the bigger picture that kills him, it's Harold Finch's selfishness, his weakness, his cowardice that killed him. 

Finch made his choice, now he had to live with the consequences. Lucky that he can still access to the irrelevant numbers, they are his burden and his salvation. 

He's delighted he could take them, let them haunted in his dreams. 

He left Grace, he's happy. He tried to save lives, he's happy. He saw guns, he's happy.

It's all clear now, that's his mission, he doomed to be. He never wonders. 

\---

Until he look into the senator's eyes. 

This old cunning politician looked terrified. He's no good man, definitely, but he's not that evil. He's just a muddle-headed congressman who insisted to open the Pandora's Box, like a million other people in this city. 

Finch cannot let Reese kill him. 

When detective Carter died, he tried to tell John, we save lives, you save lives. He cannot let John Reese back to a killer. Otherwise, what makes difference between them and others?

Harold Finch made his choice again, but what about the consequences? How can he let other take that? 

The three of them were running on the street, like three homeless rats shivering in a dark sewer. How can he let that be? 

For the first time he wondered. He prayed for God even he never truly believed. 

Why now? Why this place? 

Why the sun shines but it feels like a glacial cave?

Why me? Is it the dead-end of our fate? 

He gonna find out. Now he thinks he figures it out: because he can take it. 

These agonies, these pain, he can take it. He don't want anybody else to take the blame, not Reese, not Shaw, definitely not another NYPD detective, which he will never intend to. 

So he's the one. 

The SWAT team and other government authorities are looking for a group of three. He will only slow them down, he think. He will provide Mr. Reese and Ms. Shaw a path, a safety house, and money, but now, he insists to take the danger mixed with loneliness himself. 

He will try to find a solution. He will call them when it's safe. He will try his best to keep them from the hunting of the authority. He will make sure they survive. 

Only from afar.

He left.

 

Fin


End file.
